This is a poem I wrote for The Writer's Quibble. The theme was inebriation. The poem itself ended up winning the reader's poll for poetry that month. Special thanks to Quibble Editor Tom Ashton for letting me repost this poem here.
And to cope with the darkness and all the fear
God gave unto Adam some wonderful beer.
“Praise be to God” said Adam with glee
“It’s cool man. Let’s watch some TV”.
And lo they did skip and browse the listings
But for all their looking, searching, scanning and sifting
There was bugger all on.
God gave unto Adam some pizzas as well.
Adam thought to himself “Gee, isn’t God swell?”.
So they ate all their slices and drank all the booze
Until Adam became tired and decided to snooze.
And lo he entered his bed for the night,
Lest he knock the bed and give his wife a fright.
And then he dozed off.
When Adam awoke his wife was most pissed
For his puke fell around the bucket he missed.
And Eve said to Adam “You were intoxicated last night”
As Adam tried not to expose his eyes to the light.
“Quiet dear my head hurts a lot”
Said Adam as Eve banged on a pot.
Adam gave God a call.
“Hey God what did we do last night”
“Oh mostly get drunk and talk shite”
God said he could make a beast from a duck and an otter
Adam believed him to be off of his rocker.
But God kept his word and made up a creature
And it had a bill and a tail and other strange features.
So God was hammered when he made platypuses.
Here endeth the lesson.
End.
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